Courage: The Powerful Antidote to Perfectionism
Perfectionism is rooted in fear, the fear of judgement, shame, ridicule, rejection, and not being enough. This fear holds tremendous power, as it not only dictates how you feel about yourself, but it also directs the course of your life by informing all of your actions. The only way to really eliminate this fear is to lean into it. When you lean into fear — any fear — it loses its power over you. So, how do you lean into fear? You do so through courage, which is, arguably, one of the toughest qualities to obtain. Why? Because it requires that you step outside of your comfort zone. Courage in itself can seem fearful, just because of the perceived difficulty associated with it. But that is exactly why we call it, courage! If it were easy to do “the thing” or “face the fear”, then you would just do it, right? You would not need any form of courage. If is for this reason that we tend to associate courage with strength and bravery, due to the fact that only a few will possess this quality and attempt the feat. But don’t fear (see what I did there!), courage is something you already have — no doubt — you just need to remind yourself that you have it and strengthen it. Just like every person can learn to be more kind, you can learn to be more courageous.
So, how does courage relate to perfectionism? Courage is needed if you ever want to unshackle yourself from the chains of perfectionism. Courage is the antidote to the fear that underpins perfectionism. How does one go about being more courageous in the face of perfectionism? Here are a few ways in which you show up as more courageous:
- revealing your imperfections to those around you
- embracing self-acceptance
- voicing your needs to others
- acknowledging your mistakes and sharing these with others
- allowing yourself to make more mistakes
- asking for help when you struggle — professionally and personally
- trying more things you are likely to fail at
- voicing your boundaries
- voicing your opinions and beliefs — especially when they differ from the norm
- living more aligned with your authentic self
- going out with friends without being in “mint” condition
- learning to tolerate the mistakes of others
Perfectionism is not something that just appears over night, and therefore, you will not just get rid of it overnight. Be patient. As with any other skill in life, the more you practice it, the better you will get! Perfectionism is also a recognised personality trait, which means that we all have it to some degree. As with extraversion and introversion, perfectionism lies on a continuum. However, the personality trait perfectionism differs from struggling with “perfectionism”, in that the latter refers to when normal perfectionism has become maladaptive. When a person has learnt to cope with life’s challenges by leaning into their dominant perfectionism personality trait. This also means that any person who has struggled with perfectionism at some point in their life, will always be susceptible to moving back towards maladaptive perfectionism. Therefore, instead of aiming to ditch or eliminate perfectionism entirely from your life, know that it forms part ‘n parcel of who you are and that you can have a healthy version of it.
If you have any questions or comments, I’d love to hear from you! Please either directly comment on the article or feel free to get in touch with me via any one of my online platforms.
