Burnt Out or Just Emotionally Disconnected?

Dr Esmarilda Dankaert
4 min readOct 11, 2024

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“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way,
creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”
Margaret J. Wheatley

Unless you have been living under a rock — or perhaps under one of those heavy blankets we pull over our heads in times of emotional exhaustion — most of us are all too familiar with the toll the pandemic has taken on our lives. Globally, reports of burnout have surged to unsettling heights. Burnout, as the World Health Organization (2019) so neatly defines it, is a syndrome caused by chronic workplace stress that has not been properly managed. It manifests in symptoms like exhaustion, depersonalisation, chronic fatigue, cynicism, lack of self-efficacy, and professional underperformance. However, I do not actually believe that burnout, at least as we understand it, is at the heart of the problem, and neither do I believe that work is the main culprit. What I believe we are truly struggling with is something far more deep-rooted and intrinsic to our sense of being — the loss of emotional processing.

More and more, people are describing emotional numbness, a disconnect from both themselves and others, heightened irritability, frustration, aggression, mental fog, and an autopilot existence. Sound familiar? These are not just the symptoms of stress, they are the consequences of losing the idle moments we once took for granted — moments that allowed us to process our emotional experiences.

In our fast-paced, digital world, we are now swimming in information like never before. Every second, we are bombarded with content, and our poor brains — though incredibly adaptive — have not yet caught up with the rapid influx. Digital platforms, from news apps to social media, podcasts, and streaming services, have infiltrated our every waking moment. They have not just become our primary source of information, theydominate our attention. Gone are the days when we received news from a single, digestible source like a newspaper, radio episode, or TV broadcast. Now, we are scrolling through multiple apps, each filled with an endless stream of content, all competing for our emotional bandwidth.

The thing is, our brains were not designed to handle this much information without suffering major consequences. Every piece of content we consume actually evokes an associated emotional response, whether we realise it or not. You read an article about a tragedy, and sadness hits. You scroll past a social media post and it enrages you, but you simply scroll along. Each emotional reaction requires processing, a pause, some space between our competing thoughts. Yet, instead of allowing ourselves that downtime, we leapfrog from one piece of content to the next. After devouring a string of TikTok videos, we simply transition to emails and Zoom calls. It is no wonder our emotional wells are pouring over.

By constantly feeding ourselves with information and distractions, we disconnect from our bodies, our feelings, and ultimately, from our true selves. And it is not without serious repercussions. We stop knowing what we want, confusing our desires with what the world tells us we should want. We become numb, unable to truly connect with the people around us. You know, someone sharing a heart-wrenching story, and there you are — emotionless because you have simply run out of emotional bandwidth.

Additionally, analysis paralysis sets in, making decision-making feel nearly impossible. Anxiety, once a fleeting visitor, moves in permanently. As the wonderful Alan Bouton describes it, anxiety is simply “worries that have not been accounted for.” These unacknowledged emotions fester, and once the anxiety burns out, what we are often left with is the crushing weight of depression. Oh, and let us not forget social interactions, these have become the things we avoid. Extroverts suddenly feel like introverts, and introverts turn into full-blown hermits. The idea of human connection becomes nauseating. It is like sitting down to a massive buffet when you are already stuffed — the very thought is overwhelming.

So what is the antidote? You have to intentionally make space for yourself. No one else will do it for you — not society, not your employer, and certainly not the multi-billion-dollar digital giants that profit from your distraction. Instead of “mindlessly” binging Netflix (which, let us be honest, is just another source of information overload), do something that allows your mind to rest. Draw, reorganise that drawer you have been meaning to get to, build that adult Lego set, or cook a meal from scratch. Celebrate and prioritise those rote tasks that do not require intense focus but give your brain the time it needs to quietly process emotions in the background.

The truth is, we are in a constant tug-of-war between staying informed and staying sane. While it is tempting to stay plugged in, constantly consuming, we must recognise what we are sacrificing — our sense of self, our emotional energy, and, ultimately, our satisfaction with life. So go ahead, unplug for a while. Your mind — and your soul — will be better off for it.

If you liked this article, let me know by giving it a clap or drop me a comment below. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Medium, or join my weekly Newsletter, Lessons from the Couch — where I share nuggets of wisdom, psychological research, personal insights and lessons straight from my therapy couch.

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Dr Esmarilda Dankaert
Dr Esmarilda Dankaert

Written by Dr Esmarilda Dankaert

Not your typical Psychologist | Redefining Mental Health | Bridging Psychology + Technology with AI ethics | http://www.esmarildadankaert.com

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